Jimmy

You write shat all down ekshatly ash I tell you? Yesh? Good...
Sho... hm, where to shtart? No! Don't write shat down! Aiiii! Shtupid man! I'm SHINKING! Sho... hm... Wash a few daysh ago when me and mine shishtersh wash on tradingsh and shomeone shaid "Hey, you are a funny bunch! Funny guys! You should write your adventures down!"
Yesh, yesh... he hash had funny akshent and talked like shat. You hash shat? Good! Sho... I don't know what he did mean wish 'Guysh', caushe my shishtersh are no guysh not. Yesh, shey do have to shave sheir fashesh more often shen me, but are no guysh! And no idea, what a bunsh ish... Do you? Oh well... write!
Sho... I shought to myshelf: "Ish a good idea, Shimmy!" Ish shusht one problem: Me can not write! Sho I paid you... I mean... I paid a shailor here on she ship to write down on a piesh of parshment what I am telling him to write down.
Do you hash shat? ... telling... him... to... write... down. Good!

Sho, I am Shimmy of she Clan of Bloch. I am twenty and one year old.. I shink. I come from a shmall villash in she norsh near she big foresht... What? What name? Villash hash no name. Why need villash name? You shusht write! You not ashk queshtion! Yesh, ALL I shay!

Sho... where wash I? Now you dishtracted me wish your shtupid queshtionsh... Oh yesh! Villash! Sho... I come from shat villash.... don't look at me like shat! VI-LLASH!.... and we hash many verr. Shere's Betshie and Elishabish and... What do you mean 'shat ish not important'?... Fine! No namesh of she verr shen! Sho... ish many verr and many family... and a shleen to herd she verr... and a boshk cow and... and...

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... houshesh! And osher shingsh. Sho, my fasher shent me on travelsh wish my two older shishtersh - Shushanna and Shashy... to trade our wool of our verrsh... But we finded.... what?... found?... fine!... But we found many osher shingsh to trade wish... buying here... shelling shere... sho I hash many coinsh in my poush now, but I want to make more, sho shat we hash nishe dowry for my two shishtersh to get a companion... No... no... TWO companionsh! One for eash! You are shtupid! Shtop laughing! Write!

Sho now we are on a ship whish ish called "Impresh", whish ish a very nishe ship. She cushionsh are very shoft. My one shishter alwaysh flirting wish she captain... maybe she can companion him, shen we can travel wish she ship all she time wishout paying? What you shink? Hey, why you write shat down? Shtupid Sheaman! I wash talking to you!... Yesh, I shaid to write all down.. but not shish! and not shat! why are you shtill writing? I musht shink.....

Yesh! Now write: Sho, we are on shish ship now and traveling along she coasht.. shat ish very egshiting... We hash meeted... what? 'met'? No, I don't shink sho! I shink it'sh 'meeted'! Sho write: We hash meeted very many peoplesh to trade wish and shoon we will hash good dowry for my lovely shishters to... Why are you laughing now?!? Shtop laughing! Write... sho, shoon we will find companion for my shishtersh and maybe shen shey shtop talking about she many nephewsh and neishesh shey want to get from me.... No! Not from ME, off courshe! You musht know, shey want me to take a companion shoon too... but really! All shoshe womansh are SHOOOOOO shin!!!

Sho... well... in she negsht daysh I will let write down all of oursh adventuresh. Maybe my shishtersh do shat too. But now firsht of all I needsh to shleep a bit... Sho, good night shailor! Did you shusht write down 'Good night shailor'? Shtupid man! What are you writing down now? Shtop it! Shtop!!!